Monday, August 19, 2013

That is all.



He writes and writer and
writes some more
His eyes are sore
He's up all night.
He sings and hums,
He's all alone.
He checks his phone but no one's called.

He talks to pretty girls and thinks,
His being sinks into the void,
And bounces back to happy sounds.
His life's an endless sinusoid.

He sips a cup of tea and looks
at people talking, passing by,
and when he's done, he walks away.
A distant look, and empty sigh.

With gear shifts and scary sounds,
He's heading home, he's late again.
To sit and look at family,
Inquire as to where he's been.

The weekend comes and goes away,
Like doldrums in the open sea,
He sits alone with naught to do,
His thoughts his only company.

He'll live his days unlike the rest.
Wis gift to us his dirty scrawl,
The sun will rise and it will set.
And that is all. And that is all.

Friday, August 16, 2013

To The Women in my Life.



Listen up now, or don't. This isn't the first time I'm saying it, it most certainly isn't the last.

Thank You.
For your eloquence, and elegance, and energy.
For your grace and for your mistakes.
For your concern for me and all those around you.
Yes, you're a worrier. A mess and yes sometimes you're broken.
But you're more than meets the eye, you hypnotize me with your potent charm.
And words! Oh your words!
If only I could string a set of sounds together, in any weather, to make them sound the way you do.
I'm in love with you. I really am.

And even though you're mad at me, not all the time, well sometimes...
But still.
You're amazing.
Every single cell that you posses, it does impress my tired mind.
And I confide in you.
I rely on you.
When days are dark, I'm terrified.
When Everything is black and white.
You bring me back to grey.
Comfortable. Satisfied.
And I have tried, a hundred times,
To tell you just how much you mean.
How beautiful you are.
How beautiful you always will be.

Do not heed the paper, please.
Do not heed the ads.
The model in the Zara Store does not look as good as you.
She isn't half as good as you,
At Doodling.
Or Painting.
Or Singing.
Or telling me that I'm alright.
And I will fight until I'm gone to tell you in as many ways,
That days will come and people pass, but I will stay.
Yes I will stay.



You know it when...



Now here's the deal... If you've known me personally and well, you know how much of a nervous wreck I am, more often than not. I panic when I see a room full of people. I lose my shit if they're all talking. I sit down and rock back and forth, trying desperately to get back on my feet an at it. But that's when I'm off stage. On stage, I feel good. I feel like I'm in control. I feel Alive. I feel at Home. Last night I performed at the Indian International Model United Nations (IIMUN).  I'm going to tell you what happened. 

I was hosting the night. It was supposed to be a standard format show. Four comics performing for about 15 minutes each and I would be hosting. It was a long room with the stage on one end and the audience stretching out till the other end. They were divided by an aisle and as I got onto stage, I was confident that this show would go well. Everything would run smoothly. This would be just another show. I was wrong.

I got on and did a standard introduction. Made some jokes about the event and this and that when suddenly, the microphone stopped working. for about 5 minutes the sound team and I struggled to get things in order. But things just weren't working out. We were in trouble. Another minute or two and we would of lost the crowd. So I said "Fuck It!" And put away the mic. I started performing without amplification. 

Now this would've been fine in many rooms, but not in this one. The room was too long and the back couldn't hear a thing. I had to think fast. So after trying to be as loud as I possible could (I'm pretty loud like that. Being Gujrati has it's advantages) I just walked off stage and onto the aisle. I walked to the center of the room. And started performing there. Walking back and forth doing material. The audience, bless their hearts, stuck with me. I swear I couldn't even hear myself talk with the cheering and the laughing. But I stuck to it. 

I was hoping, praying even, for the sound system to get fixed. We had a show to do. I had to bring the next comic on stage. But I couldn't call them out with the mic not working. So I kept performing. Hoping the audience wouldn't get bored of me. I really wasn't thinking of anything else. I was on autopilot. I was so in the moment that the past and future were nowhere in sight. There were about 400-450 people in that room. I have no idea how I held their attention. I didn't even know how long I'd been on stage until the microphone was good to go and I got off stage (so to speak) and sat down. 

Turns out I did about 45 minutes of material. When I heard that, I first felt really bad. I don't like eating into other comedians time. But then it dawned on me. I managed to hold a crowd for 45 minutes! Without any sort of amplification. Without any kind of preparation! Last night, I felt like a comedian. A real comedian. 

But don't get me wrong. None of this was the highlight of last night. Even though I'm still in awe at that show, what I know will stick with me for a long long time is this...

Right after the show, when I was leaving, a young, rather shy, gentleman, came up to me and asked me if we could hang out sometime. If he could add me on facebook. If we could catch up and swap stories. Yeah. That made the night special for me. The fact that I could connect with at least one person well enough for that feeling of connectedness to last after the show was... Well... You know you're doing something you should be doing... Something you were meant to do, when someone comes up to you after the show and says something like that. 

It's all about the people man. It's all about the people.

PS: I'd like to make special mention to the other comics last night! Nick Pillow, Chris Laz and Raunaq Rajani all killed it with their unique brands of humour! It's always an honour to perform with these guys!